Now, Dee.

We're all trying to be serious here and you're making jokes. Geesh!

 

Okay...

Seriously: Take the best poop you can, then use a shower enema. Just make sure that you check your shower drain cover - you may have to remove it. Then, every time you expel fecal matter, direct the stream from the enema nozzle directly into the drain to force everything down and avoid clogging. It's not a one-time procedure - it must be repeated throughout the shower.

Okay? Happy now?

PS: I obviously don't mind anything gay, but cheating on your wife in this substantial way is odious.

 

Fleet enema and Zest soap. Your not clean until your Zestfully clean....

 

A shower...

I dont know but it has never been a real issue for me.

and yes I have had anal sex

 

Take a good poop.
Then I like to put in a small to moderate size butt plug. Usually makes me poop again within the hour.
Then take an enema. Only use 1 cup, or less, of warm water. Evacuate into the toilet. Pooping in the shower can clog the drain, also you need to wash the tub really well to kill the bacteria you just put in there when you poop in the shower.
You will need to repeat the enema till you get nearly clear water. Now you are clean inside.
Don't use more than 1 cup of water though. That will back up into the lower intestine, after the colon is full, and you will never empty that out and get clean inside.

I assume you are already experienced in putting things in your ass. If not then get experienced using toys, vegetables, tools etc. Having a large cock shoved up your ass as a first experience hurts a lot. Oh yes. lots of lube. Put it on your hole put a finger or two lubed in your hole an lube his cock.

 

If nothing else works, try a Gerni

 

I keep one of these around. It’s cordless and doesn’t use much water. Especially good to use during those holiday periods when one over eats. Helps remove those heavy loads quickly making space available when opportunity arises.

 

Liquid Drano works

 

Don't listen to these fools what you need is.
1) Bottle Brush
2) Turkey Baster or Injector Syringe
3) Bottle of Mr Clean Citrus Scented
Love that fruitful scent but honestly should just be honest with your wife and not sneak around on her. She might clean your ass in a manner you don't want.

 

You can get kits on Amazon.

 

A Shop vac wet and dry. No seriously I got a method to clean out the specified amount of colon causing shit left behind. Ok I am seriously serious go to the back yard with a little petroleum jelly butter vaseline rub enough on and in just a little bit on your asshole turn the garden hose kinda low but enough to keep flowing put some lube on the end of the hose gently stickit up your ass it starts feeling good now the most important part just let enough water go in your shit storage area you can feel the water then it feels like your full and fart but push hard shit will flow out of your ass making you feeling fresh. You can repeat this process over and over until you feel empty. I swear to Christ that this works so keep doing it till you have mastered the Back yard hose Duche.

 

The above advice is good. I built a shed and ran a water line to it for this vary reason.

 

Now I remember why we bought 480 acre property in middle of nowhere. No neighbors .