Hi all,

Been around for awhile but never really did much posting. Figured I would ask here since, you know, sex stuff. Apologize for the long post - it's a lot to unpack.

My wife and I have been together now for almost 17 years. We've enjoyed each others company and continue to do so but my wife brought up having a 3-way a couple times but we never really followed through.

A few times we considered hitting a brothel in Vegas, or just looking around for a 3rd. I am straight, my wife is bi, so it would be a woman. Additionally we are both overweight so we decided once we lose some fast food packaging around our midsection, we would explore this further. Another complicated factor is that over the past couple of years my wifes sex drive has dropped considerably due to health issues (fibromyalgia, bad knees from extensive dancing in her youth, and other items.) She continues to verbally share affection, physically when she's able, but it's a challenge. I feel awful when I'm in the mood (it has increased as I've gotten older) and she's just in too much pain. Alternatively she feels bad because she would like to have more sex, but labido and above complications just get in the way.

In the past month she joined a liberal womens group and had a get together at our house. Nothing crazy. I pretty much stayed out of it since it's her group and came down for food. Apparently a few of those women were in open relationships and were active swingers. One in particular has been very vocal with my wife about wanting to explore something with us, as her husband has little to no interest in sex. Some further prodding from my wife and it sounds like it's less about a 3-way and more about just wanting to have sex with me.

I like being loving and engaged with my wife during sex. We know what works, we know what gets each other off, and there is comfort in that. I don't necessarily want to share that because it's our thing. But I would be lying to myself if the thought of fucking someone else wasn't arousing. Even better, having my wife call the shots on how to fuck her (I'm attracted to strong women.) That said, my wife really has little interest in being involved. She doesn't even care to be in the room if we decide to go down this road.

So, basically, my wife is sort-of, kind-of looking to pimping me out. I'm not sure how I feel about it. So I thought I would come here, share this, and see if there are any similar/shared experiences and how it went (good or bad.) What were some of the things that were great, what worked, what didn't. Unforseen pitfalls to look out for apart from the obvious (emotional attachments, second thoughts, etc.)

It is worth noting, that we will be following all of the standard protocols. Making sure whoever is clean, and we have discussions about what's off limits and what is fair game.

If you read all that, appreciate it. It was more me needing to write it out somewhere.

Thank you.

 

Before you agree to this arrangement, I’d highly, HIGHLY recommend you and the wife sit down and discuss it. What are her expectations? What are her limits? What is she willing to or not to do? Same goes for you. Once you’ve both come to an agreement, then if she is willing, and ONLY if she is willing, do either of you contact the one lady to set it up.

Keep in mind, if it is as you indicate, she will be giving you a permanent hall pass. If that’s ok with her, then enjoy yourself.

 

Yeah she's of the mind it's pretty much fair game and she really doesn't want to be present. I'd prefer she would be in whatever fashion.

I'm curious to see if this has been an experience for anyone else here and hear that story.

 

Sort of kinda pimping you out?? So how much is this chick paying to fuck you? More importantly, why debate getting paid to fuck if your lady good with it?

 

Just my opinion on how I see it. You’re wife was the one who brought up the idea of having a 3 some a couple of times. You never said she brought up the idea of having you fuck one of her girlfriends, without her present.

Personally I don’t think it’s a good idea. If her girlfriend doesn’t want to get together with both of you, then I wouldn’t get together with her without your wife being involved. A 3 some is something you and your wife talked about and would like to get into. If your wife doesn’t want to be in the room while you bang her girlfriend, I don’t think it’s something she really wants you to do.

I think your wife loves you very much. She might say it’s okay and give you the green light to go, only because she hasn’t been able to give you any sexual pleasure because of her health issues. I think it could destroy a beautiful 17 year marriage you have together if she’s not involved.

Not for nothing but what girl in her right mind would tell her girlfriend that she’s interested in banging her husband

 

I think it is great you are both talking about it and thinking deeply. I recommend being really slow about this.

Starting off with improving your health is a GREAT start! No matter what happens, you’ll still end up ahead than if you didn’t. Heck, maybe sex with your wife will pick up as you both get healthier! Post work out showers…..

What about this: Set a goal for a date with a woman (not the friend) and your wife. See how your wife reacts when you flirt with this person. If all is good, take it up a level, lightly touch the woman before the date is over. STOP. Allow emotions to settle and talk about it.

If all three of you had a good time, go a little further. STOP. Talk again…

Third date, take it to the room.

Giving your wife the power to stop it might be a big turn on for her and show that she is in control.

Of course, jerk off before all dates so you are thinking with the right head!

 

Saturday at a Halloween party my wife was telling another one of the wives that I'll do dishes and laundry.. My wife said she could borrow me; so I told her that I do it because she takes it out in trade..
She giggled a little about it and my wife said she'd have to takes it up with me..
One day...

 

No worries. We live in Texas, so it's difficult to find the women who aren't 100% married to Jesus and everything revolving around church. Mainly the conversations are political and revolving around the recent changes (removal) in women's rights here in TX and other states.

Concerning the food, nothing fancy. Mostly just a potluck style of things you would expect at most gatherings. breads, salads, meats, sweets. Booze of course. I often play bartender to most hosted events.

 

Appreciate a lot of the replies.

One thing I may not have made clear - there is no issue with communication. It's one of the reasons our marriage has survived longer than most. We value it, we understand its importance in not just sex, but everything that revolves around being partners.

The one thing I came here looking for, were examples of existing situations that anyone has already experienced. No need to tell us to talk and communicate, we've already got that down.

Ultimately my wife just wants to have her old body back, so she's not comfortable 'showing it' to anyone but me, which is why I suspect she'd rather sit it out. Between multiple pregnancies and pain driven comfort eating, her old firm dancing bod is now a midwestern mom-bod (I'm sporting quite the dad-bod as well) so we're both working on dropping the keggers from the preggers.

Also to note: We will delve into D/S play occasionally so we have an established system of words, commands, and boundaries established. Trust me, communication isn't something I'm remotely concerned about.