1. Hello,


    New users on the forum won't be able to send PM untill certain criteria are met (you need to have at least 6 posts in any sub forum).

    One more important message - Do not answer to people pretending to be from xnxx team or a member of the staff. If the email is not from forum@xnxx.com or the message on the forum is not from StanleyOG it's not an admin or member of the staff. Please be carefull who you give your information to.


    Best regards,

    StanleyOG.

    Dismiss Notice

  2. Hello,


    You can now get verified on forum.

    The way it's gonna work is that you can send me a PM with a verification picture. The picture has to contain you and forum name on piece of paper or on your body and your username or my username instead of the website name, if you prefer that.

    I need to be able to recognize you in that picture. You need to have some pictures of your self in your gallery so I can compare that picture.

    Please note that verification is completely optional and it won't give you any extra features or access. You will have a check mark (as I have now, if you want to look) and verification will only mean that you are who you say you are.

    You may not use a fake pictures for verification. If you try to verify your account with a fake picture or someone else picture, or just spam me with fake pictures, you will get Banned!

    The pictures that you will send me for verification won't be public


    Best regards,

    StanleyOG.

    Dismiss Notice
PM change Verification
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  1. richief

    richief The Curly Wurly Man In XNXX Heaven

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2009
    Messages:
    26,220
    Nov 18, 2009
    Thanks for all the replies guys keep them coming.

    BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.

    And thanx Viz magazine.
     
    #21
  2. Katie Unleashed

    Katie Unleashed Porn Star

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2009
    Messages:
    2,467
    Nov 18, 2009
    Make sure you always get a double seat to yourself when on the bus or train by not bathing or changing your clothes. The horrible odour will force people to sit elsewhere leaving you to complete your journey in peace.:)
     
    #22
  3. Lowlandriders

    Lowlandriders Porn Star

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,312
    Nov 18, 2009
    When your partner is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer them
     
    #23
  4. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 18, 2009
    Top Tip.

    Don't invite drug addicts round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.
     
    #24
  5. chunky

    chunky Porn Star

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    8,198
    Nov 18, 2009
    Yes!

    Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and
    grazes with thin strips of bacon.
     
    #25
  6. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 18, 2009
    Top Tip.

    WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.
     
    #26
  7. hunterxc

    hunterxc Porno Junky

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2009
    Messages:
    293
    Nov 18, 2009
    Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
     
    #27
  8. lilgeorgiapeach

    lilgeorgiapeach Porno Junky

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    405
    Nov 18, 2009
    Never play leap-frog with a unicorn :)
     
    #28
  9. Lowlandriders

    Lowlandriders Porn Star

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,312
    Nov 18, 2009
    The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it
     
    #29
  10. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 18, 2009
    Top Tip.

    X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.
     
    #30
  11. lilgeorgiapeach

    lilgeorgiapeach Porno Junky

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    405
    Nov 18, 2009
    haha here's a few more..

    Be kind to others, send me money.

    Live every day like it is your last.Crawl into a corner and cry.

    Every morning smile to your mirror, but why stop there? Smile to your kitchen table, to your living room sofa and to your iron board. Beware, don't smile to your dishwasher she may take it as provocation.

    After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 18, 2009
    #31
  12. Lickalotopuss

    Lickalotopuss Porn Surfer

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2009
    Messages:
    37
    Nov 19, 2009
    Clean Floor

    Before you turn on the dishwasher use regular dish soap instead of dish washing detergent. It will give you a clean floor too. After you finish moping up the water.:wall:
     
    #32
  13. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009
    Top Tip.

    HOTELIERS. Save money on expensive promotions. Simply christen your beautiful daughter with the name of your hotel, film her having sex, and release the footage on the internet. Hey presto - instant worldwide advertising!
     
    #33
  14. chunky

    chunky Porn Star

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    8,198
    Nov 19, 2009
    When referring to a psychotherapist, it is best not to pronounce it "psycho-the-rapist."

    People might get the wrong idea.
     
    #34
  15. tenguy

    tenguy Reasoned voice of XNXX

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2007
    Messages:
    56,085
    Nov 19, 2009
    Now that is funny, wow did you think that up all by yourself?


    TOP TIP
    When posting plagiarized jokes on the net, never give credit to the original author.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2009
    #35
  16. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009
    Top Tip.

    HUSBANDS. Cheer yourself up by watching your wedding video in reverse. You'll love the bit where you give her back the ring, walk back up the aisle, get into a car and fuck off.
     
    #36
  17. chunky

    chunky Porn Star

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    8,198
    Nov 19, 2009
    No, my dog helped me write it.

    Top tip.
    When your dog helps you to write a joke, make sure you give the dog credit as co-author.

    Thanks Fido!
     
    #37
  18. tenguy

    tenguy Reasoned voice of XNXX

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2007
    Messages:
    56,085
    Nov 19, 2009
    Top tip

    Never, ever, try to slip a bone to a male dog.
     
    #38
  19. chunky

    chunky Porn Star

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    8,198
    Nov 19, 2009
    Did you think that up all by yourself?

    Or are you speaking from experience?
     
    #39
  20. tenguy

    tenguy Reasoned voice of XNXX

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2007
    Messages:
    56,085
    Nov 19, 2009
    My mother gave me that advise when I was about 13 years old. She told me to slip it to the bitch instead.


    Top tip

    Always listen to your mother.:excited:
     
    #40
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