I don't think it's strange at all. I love having nails digging into my back or roughly scratching up and down that just makes me pound harder and faster. My ex gf loved the rough play. When I'd pick her up like a feather and set her on the kitchen counter and pin her against the cupboards arms over her head and start kissing her. Eventually take her clothes off and grab some ice cubes to rub on her nipples and clit then warm them back up with my tongue just to freeze them again, over and over driving her crazy...mmmm, ok, that's enough before I get too excited here.

 

I just want to thank everyone who posted here. One of the main reasons I came to this forum was to learn about my desires. Now, I know I'm not so different. Just maybe a bit more extreme. You have all made my night. Even Jorge is smiling at me.

 

First off that your with a man who caters to your needs and loves you is fantastic, this is the way it should be similarly with Lil' Donna and I. She was strictly Catholic raised with no abuse and a strong personality that knows how to get what she wants outside the bedroom, inside the bedroom she was (in the beginning) timid and apprehensive leaving everything up to me. While it would be concievable to believe that after waiting till she was 22 years old for the right man (the one she'd marry) for her to be reserved, we had more problems with the "vanilla" issues like frequency and her lack of being forthcoming to my needs. As a good Catholic girl the unsuspecting parts were when I suggested what would of seemed the outer limits to some "good girls" in my past as kinky like spankings, light S&M/B&D games and anal came relatively easy and to much fanfare to her as a regular preference.

My theory is that through holding back her sexuality within such strict rules that were implied, never discussed with her in detail (her only sex talk with mom was "Don't drop your pants till there's a ring on your finger!") That once the Pandora's box was opened the seemingly more taboo the sexual act was that she shouldn't be thinking or feeling the more intense the orgasms were, along with stimulating that "dirty girl" persona that many women want to experience with the right person. It 's been over 28 years of our marriage that I've built fantasies off this rather unique twist and only now as her body ages are the difficulties arising due to health issues like mobility and illnesses, but still those taboos still permeate our weekly sexual adventures when they can. We can control our desires until we are with that partner that truly takes the time and uncovers our inner "harlot or porn star" that we are all capable of, in our case with love and time.

 

I really enjoy pain, I don't want as far as drawing blood, but everything up to works for me.

 

Taking 30 plus wacks from a cane is pretty extreme and concerns me. With that said do I think you are broken in some way? No whatever floats your boat. You seem to have things under control. You have your agreed upon safe (tap out) word and a partner who does not cross that line. After the lashing did you question yourself or the extent of the events? If yes then perhaps you know where your limits are. If not then whats next? That would be my concern. You made the statement that you dont think your guy enjoys hurting you, I would be sure to know that as a fact. There is a differance, as I am sure you are aware, between fulfilling your partners wishes and having alternative motives. He sounds like he compliments your desires and can fulfil them for you so it appears to be a win win situation. Sounded like one hell of a birthday celebration.

 

Now for over 40 years I tried to avoid pain, so I can't really tell. (Although I recently found out that I enjoy slapping my hard dick ...) But what concerns me more is, how strange is it for someone to inflict pain to your partner? I really can't imagine hurting my love, even if she said she'd enjoy it.

 

Really good thread.

There is pain and there is control and line between the two can get blurred. Given the opportunity I would love to exercise loving control over a willing woman, but pain? Not really, unless it's an appropriate extension of the control ie. a hard spanking to reinforce my authority in the bedroom.

However, if my woman was into pain for its own sake I would be happy to experiment - but for her benefit not mine.

To Lacey, you are fortunate (and clearly worthy) to find a man who will both respect you and put you in your place when needed. That's such a sexy combination, I'm jealous of both of you!

 

You are not alone. Although I did have abuse during my first sexual encounters in my formative years I believe I was predisposed to have that fetish. Now I'm not what you call a submissive. I will fight back and truly have to be dominated. I'm not going to sit there and play along.

 

Im crave both. I seem to need it. It keeps my world in focus and it keeps me calm. I've been asked if my guy enjoys doing this to me. We've spoken about that in depth, and as he points out to me, I'm the one who put the paddle in his hand. I think he does enjoy it on some level. A guy doesn't get fully erect while hearing me cry into a pillow if he isn't into it. The more important question is, why? He tells me it's my response, how much I want it to continue that turns him on. Well, that and seeing my body n such a state. He admits that being allowed to correct me and control my behavior is a much bigger turn on for him than our games are. He says I make him feel like a man. Machismo runs in high doses in his family, and it makes him proud to be Dominant over me.

So, thank you. I do feel lucky to have found him and I love him deeply.

And to Jorge,

When you read this, baby, know that I am yours, completely and forever...

 

Ughhh if only my hubby knew how to handle his wild woman!!! I love that stuff. He just don't know how rough i like it at times. I'm jealous lol

 

Lacey, the hottest thing in the world is a passionate, wet woman. If you enjoy being dominated that's even better, but I'm sure Jorge is enjoying your abandonment at least as much as the sense of power it gives himself.

It's the most perfect, balanced arrangement for all concerned

 

I understand. That was... Probably too much. I actually had to goad him into doing it. Under any other circumstances, I'd have tapped out, as you say. It was the freedom our location offered, freedom to scream and cry as loudly as I wanted, the fact that it was my birthday and the knowledge I wouldn't be afforded the chance to experience such intense... I was actually going to write pleasure. Hunh. Well, it was a one time event. The thing is, I've been floating with euphoria ever since.


It fucking hurt. It hurt then, it hurt three days later. But I also learned I could take it. We'd never done more than a dozen with it before, and those were not nearly as hard As ech one landed and I resisted tapping out, I felt stronger on some deep level. I don't know how many of you have ever really been caned, but it really fucking hurts. Would I ever do that again? I doubt it. But now I know I am a lot strong than I would have ever guessed.

 

I just want to hug you! Now I'm getting all teary-eyed. (Blushes)

 

I find it to be quite a common desire, and actually find few girls who don't like it at least a little rough at least sometimes. It is tragic that more women (and men too) are not open to pushing the envelope at least a little.

In the hands of someone with experience, it can be exquisite.

I don't think you need to delve into some deep psychoanalysis. It is taboo, it is very physical, it releases endorphins, it pleases them as well as you, it stimulates senses beyond the normal, it requires attention and focus on you, it is undoubtedly exhilarating in the way it heightens the senses. There are so many nice and perfectly normal urges involved that there is no need to look deeper than that you enjoy it.

Your description of caning is a little beyond what most people do, but not wildly so. And it certainly made me wet to read it.

And hey, it isn't really sex if you don't feel it in the morning...

 

This is all really great. The fact that it puts me squarely in the center of his attention is a huge part of it. How many times during vanilla sex with a long term partner have you felt he wasn't really there? I know I've felt that. It feels like the guy is just jacking off into you... Excellent points, sweetie. Hugs.

 

I agree about the vanilla sex getting routine, and I think that is true for him as well. Keeping it exciting requires effort, and, I think, constantly exploring boundaries.

 

Aawww thanks but I've probably cried enough for both of us at times. Lol isn't it crazy to cry over sex or how it makes you feel??

 

i crave

 

I would hope that the doctor wasn't trying to humiliate you on purpose.
My wife is a RN and she told me that the vast majority of states have
laws requiring health care professionals to report suspected cases of
physical abuse and domestic violence to the authorities. If they don't
report and it turns out to be factual their liability can be open ended. He
or she might have thought you were in need of help and legal protection.
A serious conversation with a doctor you trust might avoid this situation
in the future. Hope this helps.

 

No, it was a serious concern. He was ready to call the police for me and even after I told him how I got them, he almost did.
I pretty much had to give him all the details before he relented. I think what made the difference was that I was more annoyed than frightened. If I had a truly abusive SO, I would have been terrified. It scared me though, so like I said, that won't ever happen again