If she consents, she consents. You can hardly say it's cheating then.

 

I was once in a relationship where things were not going well. We were married and had joint property, which required our combined income to maintain. A separation would be a serious thing.

She made the statement, "You can do what you want, as long as I don't know about it." I didn't believe a word of it, because I knew her better than that. It's a trap which commits her to nothing. Does this strange offer include a list of things she will do, if she finds out?

As luck would have it, there was a real estate crash and she took the opportunity to leave while our community property was in the negative numbers.

 

I've definitely seen that, not among my personal friends but in polyamory discussion groups. "You can fuck other people for all I care" is usually more like "I want to see if you'll fuck other people if I give you permission, because if you really cared about me/wanted to save our marriage/were a non-horrible person, you wouldn't."

 

Idk ask my x wife..... One lil kiss and bam

 

I said that WASN'T cheating.

There is nothing wrong with DADT if everyone knows the situation going in. It's not exactly the healthiest model of ethical non-monogamy, but it still is ethical.

I'm just always very skeptical of anyone who claims their partner is DADT with nothing to back it up.

There's a difference between "don't ask, don't tell" and "don't ask, don't tell, don't KNOW."

 

DUH!

 

In my opinion, if it was a drunken one time kiss that you feel real shitty about and actually have guilt and remorse you should keep it to yourself. And call it a lesson learned and never do it again. Why hurt her feelings over it?

 

I am also quite familiar with this definition V!

It is common amongst mismatched libidos that manage to have an adult conversation about the mismatch!

thinskin