ive noticed throughout my life that it's been hard to talk to girls even though I've had girlfriends before. It always felt like that they didn't want to be in the relationship an they were just forcing themselves to do it even though I didn't make them. But the strange thing is I have no problem talking to girls that are "just friends" only the ones I find attractive. Does anyone find that weird and can someone help me out or am I just fucked?

 

You're Fucked!

 

The problem to me sounds like an issue of self-confidence. If you really feel like a relationship is a hindrance to them, then try to become a better person. Learn to be a better listener, learn to be more outgoing, try to become more cultured. If you like yourself, others will like you too.

 

I know how you feel. It is amazingly hard to talk to girls you're into. While I lack dating success, it does get easier to talk to girls if you don't think about how attractive they are. Think of them as a friend.

 

What advice can anyone give you other than just being yourself? There's no step by step guide on how to overcome being shy. I can see why you're having a hard time, because you fuckin whine like a little kid. Grow some balls and start being confident and assertive, and let women see a man not some guy they have to hold by the hand to walk across the street. I don't know what to tell you, I've been married for over 30 years, so if I were you I wouldn't listen to anything that I have to say.

 

They can sense that. Comes off as not being open or honest like I said. You may not intentionally be doing it but it's happening.

 

One day you will come out of your shell. Keep plugging away.

 

Being shy n quiet around women u find attractive can be a benefit for u or a down fall. I mean some women. Are attracted to shy n quiet type. Some prefer the loud cocky arrogant type. Then you got women who like the mysterious quiet type. I say just be urself.

 

Whatever anyone has told you, ignore it. It's because you convince yourself you are being honest talking to girls you have thoughts about, but you are actually trying to conform your actions and hers to a narrative you have running in your head. Women are more attuned to picking up on it because they have to deal with advances more than men.

Keep reminding yourself she is a person and not some experience you are cooking up and eventually your air of desperation will go away

 

Yeah, those are things that happen when you are trying to be cool or seem relaxed or do whatever instead of honestly being that way, do you know what i mean? Think about hanging out with people, cant you tell when someone is being awkward or angry or something and trying to hide it?

You should work on stepping back and taking a nice long and peacefully honest look at what you feel about every aspect of women or dating women or fucking women or trying to pick up women or whatever and really figure it out. The key observation is how you said you act fine with women you know arent a sexual concern in your head, but you immediately get lost in your thoughts when you are going to make an attempt. Sort it all out first and learn what you should think about all of those things, especially women, and youll be fine.

It has nothing to so with balls or anything and things like confidence arent even real concepts according to contemporary psychologists

 

Trust me, they also see that you are aware of that and that your actions reflect that.

 

Thats kind of the point, you arent being yourself as shown by how you act differently around women you have no sexual interest in.

Most people in western society have a facade they try to craft and refine when it comes to relationships. Hell, look at people even in this thread that post stupid shit like "grow a pair," as if that means anything

 

Practically everyone does and even those that dont have either done it in the past or have to always watch out for it. It's kind of just how our society works. The way to fix it is to really think long and hard about what you honestly think about everything involved

 

You cant worry about that because it will influence your thoughts which then influence actions which then makes women wonder why they find something off about you when you interact with them.

Try a bit more empathy. Think about how you perceive confidence and then think of how women perceive confidence in men. Totally different right?

 

Your responses to my comments show that you dont fully understand or comprehend them fully which makes me switch my answer to your B option...you're fucked lol. Sorry, bro

 

I know, and since it's obvious you dont know how to think of it all, which you yourself seem to acknowledge, the answer is realistically that you are fucked until you do

 

I also have this problem